K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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