puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
