I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
