you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
