I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
