i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
