ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
