Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
