Christians are straight up FREAKS
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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