What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
