He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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