I didn't shave. On purpose
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
