Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
