Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
mondays should just be called national damage control day
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
