This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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