i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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