I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I could make wine with my vomit
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
