Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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