Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
