drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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