Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
home. puking in laundry basket.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
how does that bad decision feel?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
