I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
