if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
