Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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