Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
