I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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