She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
