i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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