GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
