it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
