Kiss
Puke
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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