If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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