She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
