well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
