i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
