I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
