So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
