I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
