Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
