Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
