How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
