Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
