So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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