ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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