yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
