Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
