Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
