i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
