Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
