Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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