Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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